Chief Want
On The Road Again
Back roads and dirt roads, was a good weekend, first time out of the city this year… Felt good to chase the sun and feel the wind blowing in my face. Had a million laughs, a few puffs and died a little with a real friend. My heart is always at ease when on the move. A rolling stone? Maybe.. It’s been a great first quarter. Alhamdulillah š»
Ready, Set, Go!
Will try to restart my 7km daily run today which I haven’t done in 6 months. I’ve been one lazy bum the past two weeks and I’m not proud of it. My daily routine in that period has been eating, sleeping and going to the bathroom and some reading and TV in between those but no exercise at all.. I’ve only managed to meet my daily target of walking 10, 000 steps a day on the two occasions I’ve gone to see the doc and that’s only because I didn’t wanna use public transportation. I enjoyed the jogging in the evening all those months I was out of employment coz it made me drink lots of water, it was a different kinda high, it kept me from my phone for a couple of hours and it did help in part with sleep coz my body would be somewhat tired at the end of it all but my work schedule kinda got in the way of that but I at least manage to meet my 10,000 steps a day each week day. The endless headaches, dysfunctional digestive system and lack of sleep in the past few weeks have been signaling me to at least start walking considerably during the lockdown and the biggest inspiration has been from the unlikeliest sources; mom and dad. The folks have been fast walking my jogging route every morning starting at 5.30 a. m. for the past week and I think I might just join them two hours from now and see if I can be doing mornings with them or evenings by myself. Nonetheless I’ll be back in the exercise business today and perhaps by the time I’m returning to work in a month my slacks will still fit perfectly lol
Just Another Day In The Trenches
Working at the airport can be quite fun, there’s always throngs of people to bump into and say hi to…you never know who you’re going to meet, a famous face or a perfect stranger. Then there’s the constant noise of planes taking off and landing which you quickly get used to..Watching the planes is even more fun, hope I never get used to it.š¤The duty free shops and lounges in international departure are cool too plus it’s always refreshing to see how things work past check in and on the airside. Basically it’s all fun and games till the Coronavirus comes into play.. It’s now a horror show, deserted terminal, apron and whole lot of paranoia.. While everyone else is running away from the virus, you gotta wake up early and go towards the one place you know it’s likely to come through. Throughout the day there’s the constant second guessing, the loud thoughts trying to retrace my steps, where did I touch, is the door handle or mouse sanitized? Wonder who I’ll sit next to on the bus. Wonder if we’ll also asked to go work from home like the rest of the world. Why isn’t the president locking down the country like most of Southern Africa? Even other landlocked countries with less confirmed cases are on lock down.. And as the work bus drops employees at different stops, onlookers on the street are staring at the bus with disdain like ‘here come the guys letting all the infected people into the country’. At certain stops you can hear some passerbys shout Corona and laugh as staff members disembark and we on the bus laugh about it too, that’s the least we could do, we not getting outta this shit alive after allš¤£š¤£š¤£Getting home, there’s all sorts of memes online about the virus, some real funny and others plain ignorant but it’s all good, maybe the humor can keep my paranoia at bay through the night and morning right till I enter the terminal tomorrow and try to figure out how I’ll make it though the day without catching this thing.
Day 70
It’s a mix of everything. It’s survival of the fittest…it’s a bit of the strong rule the weak but the wise rule the strong..and in some ways, it’s a bit of luck as in “time and chance happens to us all”… it’s about getting the right mix you get the right mix and smiling through thisĀ beautiful struggle
Day 55
On my weary feet bobbing and weaving
Every second in this deadly ring is unforgiving
Life throws a quick left and then a focused right
I duck but still wonder if I’ll end up on the canvas tonight
I’m looking into the crowd, seeking inspiration for a win
In that moment of lost focus an uppercut burns my chin
And so the count goes one, two, three, four
Hanging onto the ropes I get myself up from the floor
As we meet across the floor for another duel
With life is closing in on me, Im saved by the bell
End of the Round
Day 28
Back to the city back to reality and the fast life of stress, walking on egg shells and stepping on people toes…traffic jams and deadlines, long weeks and as the name suggests…short weekends.
Day 4
Spent my morning with Xian we, played, we ran and laughed…he made me smile. We watched house sparrows sitting on the roof and flying down for bread crumbs, he’s fascinated by their movement…he wears a pensive face as he looks on.
We spoke on my break at work, yep it’s me again going against all advice and all my good senses. Show me a pile of pride and I’ll devour it…desperate times call for desperate measures; now fighting for the soul of my sanity
Five Stages of Grief
Stage 1_Denial: it’s that graceful disbelief, the numbness that makes the stinging loss more bearable. I’d look at this piece of paper and refuse to see what was right befre my eyes, this surely cant be happening to me I said.
Stage 2_Anger: unbridled rage, I was mad at the world coz they always believed I could do anything, mad at myself coz I knew my potential and wasted it but underneath all that lay the pain. So I used the bridge of anger to walk over the sea of pain.
Stage 3_Bargaining: I bargained with God, told him the things I’d do if he could just wake me up from this crazy dream, there’s no waking up from this one. If I had been the best version of myself, I wouldn’t be here but there I was.
Stage 4_Depression: emptiness, silence, tears, these were the saltiest tears I ever cried. Alcohol would satisfy half my mood but there’s that darker side that wouldn’t be put under its spell, the gloom. What had I done?
Stage 5_Acceptance: I learnt to live with loss. Search for answers, hurt yourself , feel the pain, learn. Embrace the change, wear the scars, smile and work twice as hard as everybody else. It’s not perfect but I survived this loss and I’m still here.
The Secret To Happiness
A Penny For Your Thoughts 