A Penny For Your Thoughts

Five Stages of Grief

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Stage 1_Denial: it’s that graceful disbelief, the numbness that makes the stinging loss more bearable. I’d look at this piece of paper and refuse to see what was right befre my eyes, this surely cant be happening to me I said.

Stage 2_Anger: unbridled rage, I was mad at the world coz they always believed I could do anything, mad at myself coz I knew my potential and wasted it but underneath all that lay the pain. So I used the bridge of anger to walk over the sea of pain.

Stage 3_Bargaining: I bargained with God, told him the things I’d do if he could just wake me up from this crazy dream, there’s no waking up from this one. If I had been the best version of myself, I wouldn’t be here but there I was.

Stage 4_Depression: emptiness, silence, tears, these were the saltiest tears I ever cried. Alcohol would satisfy half my mood but there’s that darker side that wouldn’t be put under its spell, the gloom. What had I done?

Stage 5_Acceptance: I learnt to live with loss. Search for answers, hurt yourself , feel the pain, learn. Embrace the change, wear the scars, smile and work twice as hard as everybody else. It’s not perfect but I survived this loss and I’m still here.


It’s True, Thugs Get Lonely Too

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It’s been a month of Sundays
And naturally this would be spread out any number of ways
There were green fumes, black humor, stupid donkeys and bomb ass fires
Climaxing from conversations that outlasted
our carnal desires
Ectstatic highs and uproarious lows
Yet you we’re the one constant through it all
So when the nights grew cold and my heart went dead
I pulled down this photo and laid it by my head
As strange as this sort of pillow talk would seem
Things were once again rosy when we met in my dream
At daybreak it would dawn on me that
because the bond we share is real
I’ll constantly toss and turn, I’ll hurt, I’ll feel
And to those who still wonder, yes it’s true
Even thugs get lonely too

How Long Will They Mourn Me?

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It’s fair to say that everyone would wanna know
The wreckage they leave behind when they go
How long will they mourn me you ask
Well to me it doesn’t matter that much
There’s no difference whether it’s a year or five
Differences are there to be made while you’re alive
I don’t know how long they’ll mourn me
But if you could manage to smile through the tears
And if you could, even for the shortest minute, hold my memory dear
I’d be happy and smiling too
Knowing very well that I meant something to you
So how long will they mourn me?
A thousand days, perhaps just three
Doesn’t matter as long as you remember me

The Secret To Happiness

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Live on the edge
Enjoy the thrill of near misses
Savour the resounding defeats
Own the victory
Stretch the slim chances
Push the limits
Realise that ‘normal’ is
A box society uses keep you docile
Cry silently, laugh uproariously
Scream like an angel, dance like a fool
Indulge your curiosity
Let every word you speak
Be an exclamation
Play in the dirt
Chase after donkeys and goats
Live and die in the same breath
And write about it
Live fearlessly and die proudly
When you’re done do it all over again

Picture Perfect Escape

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What I’d give to be that boy again
I’d scrape my knees just to taste that joy again
To relive the amazement and wonder
But all that warmth is frozen in time
Overrun by years that reek of routine
Familiarity in these walls desperately suffocating possibility
This photograph is but a momentary escape
A time capsule of tasteful memories
That are soon eclipsed when I look in the mirror
The coldness still trapped in eyes that are
Forever blood stained by
The many pains they’ve witnessed

A Ngwee for Your Thoughts

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If I had a Ngwee for every time

You shared your thoughts

I’d have a rich vocabulary

And an even richer soul

The countless balletic conversations we’ve had

Where the world pirouettes on your tongue

And dances between your lips

Your tongue, red-lacquered as though

Freshly made Louboutins walked on it,

Breaks the ice and carves memories out of it

Your words are unlayered, profound

You spin words and they take shape

In the form of reality

With the universe home on your lips

You speak life into my life

So the next time when we talk

Remember that your words enrich my soul

The Marriage of True Minds

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Nameless silhouettes tearing through
Tall dew kissed blades of grass
The sun barely piercing the unflinching fog
Just when I thought it would yet be
Another eternity before I’d see you
You sliced open my perception of what real is
Stretched it beyond imagination
And filled it with funky colours
And endless possibilities
Your hand is so far down my chest that
Vulnerability is now my strength
Boundaries have faded
That we’re now making up reality as we go
Simply put we’re a pleasant memory lost in time 
Trying our best not to be found