Zed Thingz

A Ngwee for Your Thoughts

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If I had a Ngwee for every time

You shared your thoughts

I’d have a rich vocabulary

And an even richer soul

The countless balletic conversations we’ve had

Where the world pirouettes on your tongue

And dances between your lips

Your tongue, red-lacquered as though

Freshly made Louboutins walked on it,

Breaks the ice and carves memories out of it

Your words are unlayered, profound

You spin words and they take shape

In the form of reality

With the universe home on your lips

You speak life into my life

So the next time when we talk

Remember that your words enrich my soul


Pros & Cons of The Cholera Outbreak

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 Pro: this outbreak is not as bad as the 1991 outbreak which had 13,154 recorded cases

 Con: we are on track to match and beat that record if we do a superficial clean up and  sweep the dirt under the rug

Pro: it has given the city a much needed face lift

Con: the facelift has come at the expense of thousands of traders and vendors and even thousands more of us who just want veggies and a good old T-shirt from salaula

Pro: It’s exposed the weakness in our public health system

Con: it took the death of over 40 people (and the closure of three outlets of our beloved Hungry Lion) for us to take this thing serious

Pro: it has made slay queens practice how to handle a broom before entering Lusaka CBD

Con: its shown that some elements in defence forces are guaranteed to take things to the extreme no matter how well meaning the task is

Pro: Zambian social media will be preoccupied by a serious topic even if its only for a while

Con: This discourse will soon be done and we’ll be back to our usual stuff; A slept with B, C slapped D



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Weekends are for relaxing
So when we’re not exploring, eating
Or killing bats and spiders
We wear humor on our faces
And tongues
We say outrageous things
And pretend the world is ours
Coz we heard it belongs
To those who can afford
To stop and smell the flowers

A Luta Continua…

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How many people know this writing, where it’s located but still won’t bother to enter the premises? I’m pretty sure there’s many more who don’t know the existence of this place and wouldn’t care less, after all such things are for tourists right?

In two days we turn 52 and we’ll enjoy the public holiday and the long weekend. We’ll get some much needed rest from work and regular routine. We’ll meet up with friends, catch up on stories and as we do with every other holiday in Zambia, we’ll eat and drink.

As we celebrate let’s remember that some on the plans and strategies to ensure we attained the freedom of speech, assembly and association we’ll enjoy this weekend were formulated here and many other places across nation by ordinary Zambians. Places and faces that have faded with time.

Every shade of paper money ever used in Zambia since independence can be found here. Some of the furniture, kitchen utensils used by the Kaunda family, his children’s primary school uniform, family photos, his letter from exile and his famed Land Rover are all here and serve as a reminder of a time when our future, our rights, our hopes and aspirations were but a dream.

Even as you fight on in today’s tough times, keenly follow Zambia’s freedom trail and remember what great odds we’ve faced but still managed to rise above them. Remind yourself just how far we’ve come and how much further we have to go on this journey.

The Hate U Give Little Infants F***s Everybody

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After all the mudslinging and lying, after the TV networks have turned off the cameras and the international observers have returned to their respective countries, we’re slowly awaking to the harsh reality of the collateral damage left in the wake of this election. And it’s not loss of ties, property or lives I’m talking about, its THUG LIFE i.e. The Hate U Give Little Infants F***s Everybody as Tupac Shakur would put it.

The seeds of hate sown into our kids in this election is more alarming than ever. On so many occasions in the past few weeks and months I’ve witnessed grown-ups in the presence of their children saying things like, “my child and I can never be ruled by Tonga” or “I can never vote for Patriotic Front because it’s a Bemba party”. What precedence are we setting for our kids? If you don’t like a certain candidate or political party for whatever reason it may be at least tell your kids it’s because of unsound policies, don’t go the tribal route.

Children minds are malleable, whatever we expose them to and teach them at that age is what becomes the norm as they grow. I won’t get into the Dundumwezi-Chitulika argument and play the blame game coz we the adults have chosen not to be reasonable, we seem to be already set in our ways but please just keep the kids out of this. And for those who say tribalism has always been part of our culture, political or otherwise, well, some traditions are not worth continuing. This has to come to a stop, if not with us then our children.

We’ve been independent for 50 years yet through our voting pattern in this election we’ve basically recreated map of North Eastern and Barotseland-North Western Rhodesia map, back to where we were at the turn of the last century. We’re wondering why we not going forward when we’re still stuck in the past, facing off against each other instead of fighting poverty, unemployment and underdevelopment. As Lincoln said, a house divided against itself cannot stand.

If you really believe that children are the future then for their sake keep the hate and poisonous talk to yourself. If people of other tribal groupings are good enough to be your friends, workmates and even your seniors at your place of work and all is well, it’s very hypocritical of you to tell the young ones that a Bemba, Tonga, Chewa or Lozi is unfit to make decisions at national level purely because they belong to a tribe you seemingly have a problem with. If you know in your heart of hearts that the hate you’re speaking isn’t true,  if you can’t back up your claims with empirical evidence, why teach your kids otherwise? Set them on the right path and let them experience the world on their own terms. Don’t poison their future.

I don’t know about you but I fear for my unborn kids. I don’t want them growing up in a country divided along tribal lines a 100 years after independence.

*Picture courtesy of thebestofzambia.com

Flowers For Larry

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Just weeks ago I was watching Muhammad Ali’s memorial and was amazed by how everyone had their own Ali story, a once upon a time personal encounter with the greatest. It was happy and sad. Happy coz he was my hero too and received even more praise while he lived. Sad coz I never got to have a one on one with him.

Every single day we cross paths, eat and live with people whom we may not necessarily term our heroes but inspire us again and again yet we don’t take the time to acknowledge them. The worst thing that could happen is that person could fade out coz we didn’t pat them on the back when they needed it. But that’s beside the point, the noble thing to do would be to give them bouquets of praise and appreciation now while they can still smell them.

Meet my friend Larry, a soft spoken guy who oozes coolness even on a hottest summer day hehe. He’s so cool he doesn’t even know he inspires me, unless he’s reading this. If you’ve watched some of the more popular Zambian music videos in recent times ie Glory – Jay Rox ft Thugga (2016),Will You Marry Me – T-Sean Ft Bombshell (2016), Unbeatable – Chefy 187 ft S-Roxxy (2016), Somone – Slap Dee ft Mumba Yachi and Muzo (2015), Toliwe – Willz ft Wezi (2015) you’ll would’ve probably seen directed by Qbick and Lawdak at the beginning. Well Lawdak = Lawrence Daka = Larry.

I’ll try not to make this long or solemn as though it were an obituary, coz it’s not. Without any formal training in video production or directing, it’s amazing to see how far passion, raw talent and discipline can drive a person. Growing up, Larry fell in love with music watching his sister and nephew singing. He first lent vocals and later engineered an album for his nephew Mathew Tembo, a musician and traditional music enthusiast before shooting videos for yet another nephew. I wouldn’t be shocked if Larry has music for blood in his veins

What Makes Us Zambian?

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What is it that makes us Zambian?
Is it the friendliness and warmth that visitors from abroad always talk about
Or maybe it’s our beautiful smiles
The same smiles we tucked away last week when we raided Rwandan owned shops
What images come to your mind when you think Zambia
Nsima, Victoria Falls , street kids, Mosi Lager, petty politics
Are we Zambian cause we bear names like Mundia, Bwalya, Phiri, Hamooga
Can’t you be a Scott or Patel and just be as Zambian
Do you have to belong to a ‘big tribe’ to really be a Zambian
How about the lesser known Goba, Unga and Mbowe
Aren’t they Zambians too
What distinguishes us from others
Is it the descriptive particles we add before a noun when we speak our version of English
As in: a ka little girl or a chi nice ride
Or is it because every toothpaste is Colgate and cooking oil is Saladi
Is it our ability to emulate the bold eagle meticulously sewn into our flag
Rising above and resolving our problems without talk of blood
Or maybe it’s the realization that we’re a jewel of the Zambezi
Singular and rare, belonging to all
Regardless of stripe or belief
A jewel bigger than any politician, political party or agenda
Hence the maxim One Zambia, One Nation
And so I reiterate my opening statement
What is it that makes us Zambian?